


Shipception

by I_Otaku



Category: Homestuck
Genre: EquiJane Daughter, FefNep son, Gen, Nothing explict, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, reincarnated meowrails
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7725274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Otaku/pseuds/I_Otaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Non-SGRUB AU! All humans are trolls, and eggs are brooded by one romantic partner as opposed to the mother grub.</p><p>Malaco is the future prince of Alterina, and child of the empress and her matesprit Nepeta Leijon.</p><p>Anitis is the daughter of famous chef Jaynne crocker and Archeradictator Equius Zahhak. </p><p>What I'm saying is, reincarnated meowrails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Malaco Leijon-Peixes, and you are currently typing away at your husktop. It’s midnight, and you can feel the knot in your digestion sack writhe as you’re talking to your friend. In all honesty, you want her to be your moirail, more than you want anything else, but this entire time you’ve convinced her that you’re a rustblood. You know you should never have lied to her in the first place, Anitis is super respectable and understanding and cool, but it’s too embarrassing and stressful to tell the entire world that you’re a fuchsiablood. The gills suck for somebody who prefers to be on land, and the ear fins are itchy and make you stick out, they mean you’re supposed to be somebody important. You don’t want to be! You’d rather live on the beach and hang out with the cool lobsters and occasionally check out the cool underwater sea life! But your mother is the empress, and your other mother is helping her. You’re suppose to be somebody important someday, but it’s so much easier to make friends and pretend to be someone else, to avoid your responsibilities. Anitis understands, even though she keeps telling you to woman up and face them. She makes everything look so easy and from how she talks about it, cooking must be like breathing for her.

You backspace the line in your pesterlog you had written out, staring at the empty text bar. She’s going off on a bit of a spiel again, but it’s kinda nice to see her so excited about her archery practice earlier in the evening. Taking in a deep breath and pulling the husktop further up on your lap, you type out what you want to say for the bazillionth time that night. Before you can back out again, your smallest frond slides across the return key and you have no choice to go through with it.

CC: hey Anitis?? can i ask you something?? *CC presses his fingers together*  
GG: D-> What seems to be the area you require expertise on? I always love offering advice Malaco, you should know this.  
GG: D-> And I would love to help you in any way that I can.  
CC: yeah yeah i know  
CC: *CC sighs* you just always seem to be cooking or practicing or doing something and  
CC: well this is some reely heavy crap thats been bothering me for a while  
GG: D-> Malaco I am here for you no matter what. Please don’t worry about whatever this may be, tell me and we can get it off your chest.  
CC: well  
CC: what would you say if i said i wasn't who i originally said i was?  
GG: D-> …  
GG: D-> I would appreciate elaboration on this front, if you would please.  
CC: im... not a rustblood... i dont want to keep lying to you about it...  
GG: D-> Oh.  
GG: D-> I will not make your uncomfortable by asking what your real blood color is, will I?  
GG: D-> If so, then may I ask why you felt the need to masquerade as a rustblood?  
CC: i dont want to be seen as anything except for who i am! not for what blood color i have!!  
GG: D-> …  
GG: D-> I have always wanted to blow on your fins and see how you would react, perhaps now I will have the chance.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºe_oº╮(\╱) ehwat  
GG: D-> Ahah! I knew you had an emoticon, no matter how adamant about it you were that you didn’t!  
GG: D-> I should have expected you want to know about key bindings for your chatlogs.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) *CC's jaw drops, but he is somewhat happy to not have to look at so much red text anymore because it can make his looking globes hurt* how did you know i was a seadweller?!?!  
CC: (╲/)╭º◉Д◉º╮(\╱) i didn't mention lobsters as many times as i wanted too, AND i cut down on my fish puns!!  
GG: D-> Although my Father was once inseparable from his moirail and is no longer to that degree with her any longer, he still talks about her.   
GG: D-> Some curious research led me to the matesprit of the empress, and their son.   
GG: D-> Although you never mentioned your surname, you are very similar to my Father’s moirail.  
GG: D-> I did not want to make you uncomfortable though, so I swept it to the back of my mind. I knew you would tell me when you wanted to.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºo_oº╮(\╱)  
CC: (╲/)╭ºnunº╮(\╱) thank you for that Anitis!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºouoº╮(\╱) yeah im the son of the empress  
CC: (╲/)╭ºn_nº╮(\╱) thats how i changed my text color so quick too, my mom used to have this handle before i changed it a bit  
CC: (╲/)╭ºnunº╮(\╱) *CC grins up at his friend* but whats more important is that i got an awesome best friend like you!  
GG: D-> Best friend…?  
CC: (╲/)╭ºn_nº╮(\╱) *CC gasps at GG's doubt* of course!! you're amazing Anitis!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) look back at what you said and what you did! you want me to be happy and comfortable and i appreciate everything you do for me  
GG: D-> I  
GG: D-> Give me a moment, I am rather righteously flustered.  
GG: D-> But you are a prince? Why talk to me, as you could speak with a higher caste, someone important?  
CC: (╲/)╭??_??╮(\╱) why would i?  
CC: (╲/)╭ºn_nº╮(\╱) *CC pounces onto GG's back and hugs her* youre more than anything else i could need in company Anitis!  
GG: D-> P  
GG: D-> Please excuse me briefly. I have an engagement.

Your name is Anitis Crockr-Zahhak and you are an emotional mess of a teenage troll. You have had pale feelings for your friend for a while, but this has thrown you over the edge. You take pride in your level head and emotionless façade, but when Malaco pays attention to you like that, your blood pumper throbs and you can almost feel yourself flooding in pale pheromones. Why does a prince even want to talk to you, of all people? He’s important, and you’re—well—you. Even as Malaco says he hates being a prince, you can barely hold back chastising him. He needs to be more responsible, and now that he’s opened up about his blood color, you can’t help but get all lost in your pale fantasies. Does he even know what he does to you? You, the serious and usually stone faced daughter of an Archeradictator and Chef? You, the troll now sitting in your respite block, face flushed indigo and knees pulled up to your chest? Yes you. And whenever he gives you attention like that your chest does some stupid thing you can’t explain, you just pity him so much for pitying you. When you manage to cool your head back to your usual, you start pestering him again.

This time, you won’t fake out and need to collect yourself again. You’ll tell him you’re pale for him, and, wait what is he doing. You are now distracted by Malaco.

GG: D-> I’ve returned Malaco. I apologize for having to disappear.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºn_nº;╮(\╱) hey Anitis! now im the one thats kind of busy! hahah!  
GG: D-> What are you doing, and why am I worried?  
CC: (╲/)╭º6n6º╮(\╱) its not my fault!  
GG: D-> That does not answer either of my questions.  
CC: (╲/)╭º6m6º╮(\╱) moms said that i had a meeting with some of the other trolls my age  
CC: (╲/)╭º7m7º╮(\╱) yknow the grody seadweller upperclass dudes  
CC: (╲/)╭ºumuº╮(\╱) and i dont wanna be anywhere near psidan otherwise ill get psiren on my case for messing with her moirail  
CC: (╲/)╭ºn_nº;╮(\╱) and umm well if i didn’t have my palm husk we wouldn’t be talking! so thats good!  
GG: D-> You jumped out your window and climbed one of the trees didn’t you.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTmTº╮(\╱) no!  
GG: D-> Yes you did, didn’t you.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTmTº╮(\╱) definitely not!  
GG: D-> Yes.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTmTº╮(\╱) no!  
GG: D-> Yes.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTmTº╮(\╱) no!  
GG: D-> Yes.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTmTº╮(\╱) no!  
GG: D-> Don’t lie to me Malaco.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºToTº╮(\╱) okay, fine so what if i did?!  
GG: D-> Fiddlesticks Malaco, what have I told you about that? You need to woman up and deal with your responsibilities!  
CC: (╲/)╭º@o@º╮(\╱) BLEGH *CC sticks his tongue out at GG* i dont need your dumb stupid head or your wrong opinions!  
GG: D-> *GG sticks her own tongue right back out at CC* I can and will make my way from my hive to the castle you little lobsterboy.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºPmPº╮(\╱) *CC pales at the thought* you wouldn’t dare!  
GG: D-> Oh I can and will, you’ve heard stories about my mother.  
GG: D-> So I order you to get down from that tree before you get in even more trouble and go apologize to your mothers.  
GG: D-> Did you hear me? An order. It’s important because I ordered it. It’s an order. Order. Side of grub loaf and all.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºnunº╮(\╱) *CC laughs and covers his mouth*  
GG: D-> So if you don’t want an angry sweaty indigo troll trapsing into the castle with eyes on punching down the tree you’re hiding it, I suggest getting out of it.  
GG: D-> Okay?  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) *CC blows a raspberry at GG but puts his palmhusk back in his shirt to climb back inside*  
GG: D-> I know you are very hornbeast-headed, but why exactly do you let yourself sway into illogical and spur of the moment actions and decisions?  
GG: D-> …  
GG: D-> Oh yeah, you’re climbing back inside your hive.  
GG: D-> Be careful.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) because emotions are!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºo_oº╮(\╱) well  
CC: (╲/)╭ºe_oº╮(\╱) i can’t really explain  
CC: (╲/)╭ºeueº;╮(\╱) they just sort of get the best of me i guess?  
GG: D-> You truly seem to need a leash, but one for your impulses and emotions. I doubt you could ever really hurt anyone with malicious intent, but you might hurt someone’s feelings if you don’t have someone to help you realize how to act.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºo///oº╮(\╱) is  
GG: D-> …?  
CC: (╲/)╭ºo///oº╮(\╱) is that an offer?  
GG: D-> I  
GG: D-> Well  
GG: D-> Please excuse me I need a towel.  
CC: (╲/)╭º9n9º╮(\╱) Anitis! please dont disappear again!  
CC: (╲/)╭º6////6º╮(\╱) *CC pulls on the hem of his shirt*  
CC: (╲/)╭º6//n//6º╮(\╱) maybe since neither of us are really  
CC: (╲/)╭º6//m//6º╮(\╱) or neither of us  
CC: (╲/)╭º@//o//@º╮(\╱) UGH why is it so hard to say?!  
GG: Malaco.  
CC: (╲/)╭º9o9º╮(\╱) *CC looks up at GG*  
GG: ♦  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOvOº╮(\╱) *CCs face lights up and he jumps up hugging GT tight*  
CC: ♦!

Your name is Malaco and you now have an amazing new moirail.

Your name is Anitis and you now have an amazing new moirail.

  
  


You're both going to have an excitable next couple of sweeps.


	2. Jams and paps pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anitis talks about her emotions and her flushcrush

GregariousGuider [GG] began trolling CrustaceanCuddler [CC]

CC: (╲/)╭ºOo0º╮(\╱) *CC gasps at his moirail’s sudden actions*  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOo0º╮(\╱) i dont think youve ever trolled me first Anitis!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOn0º╮(\╱) there must be somefin eely important going on  
GG: D-> Hmm? I suppose.  
GG: D-> …  
CC: (╲/)╭º-_-º╮(\╱) *snips at GG’s sudden silence, as the crustacean is getting impatient*  
CC: (╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) Anitis! you gotta tell me whats going on!  
GG: I will  
GG: Hold on, let me put this in the heating receptacle.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºI_Iº╮(\╱) *CC withdraws his pitchfork and lights a torch* who are we killing?  
GG: D-> Malaco  
CC: (╲/)╭º0o0º╮(\╱) nonono! you either message, or bake  
CC: (╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) doing both at the same time is cause for alarm  
CC: (╲/)╭º>m<º╮(\╱) if anyone so much as looked at you wrong, ill mess them up reely bad!!!  
GG: D-> Thank you, but nobody did anything.  
GG: D-> Upon further reflection, I believe that may be the problem.  
CC: (╲/)╭º>_<º╮(\╱) Anitis! tell me whats bothering you!

GregariousGuider [GG] is now idle

CC: (╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) grr!  
CC: (╲/)╭º7_7º╮(\╱) at the rate youre giving me infinmation i might as well calm you a snail!  
CC: (╲/)╭º>0<º╮(\╱) *CC jumps up* my moirails a snail! Anitis the snail!!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) hey wait that makes you my moisnail  
CC: (╲/)╭º^_^º╮(\╱) *CC high fives himself*  
CC: (╲/)╭º7_7º╮(\╱) …  
CC: (╲/)╭ºToTº╮(\╱) when will you come back Anitis? youre hurting my feelings!

GregariousGuider [GG] is now online

GG: D-> No I’m not.

GregariousGuider [GG] is now idle

CC: (╲/)╭º>0<º╮(\╱) why i oughta!!!  
CC: (╲/)╭º>0<º╮(\╱) ill turn this ship around and sail it right back into port!!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºToTº╮(\╱) buoy you’re not making this easy!  
CC: (╲/)╭º>0<º╮(\╱) do you wanna play that game my moisnail? fine!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºTnTº╮(\╱) i have a thing or two i wanna tell you!

GregariousGuider [GG] is now online

GG: D-> Alright I’m back.  
CC: (╲/)╭º>m<º╮(\╱) youre a big dumb smelly face who never listens to me!!  
GG: D-> …  
GG: D-> Alas, I have been mortally wounded by my moirail’s cruel words.  
GG: D-> I will have absolutely no chance of survival unless  
GG: D-> *GG picks up CC and sits him on her lap*  
GG: D-> *GG paps CC’s face* My moisnail listens to me pour my heart out like a too runny batter.  
CC: (╲/)╭º^_^º╮(\╱) *CC hugs his moisnail tight and pulls her hair around into playful snipping distance as he lays down in her lap*  
CC: (╲/)╭º9o9º╮(\╱) im here you big smelly face, will you tell me whats wrong now?  
GG: D-> Yes. I apologize for my back and forth earlier, I was cleaning the kitchen.  
GG: D-> I had a brief moment where I made the container of ground grain and wheat explode.  
CC: ... you lost control?  
CC: ... *CC stops playing with GGs hair and sits up to look at his moisnail*  
GG: D-> Yes.  
CC: ... whats eating you?  
GG: D-> Emotional turmoil for lack of better diction.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) phwoar!!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºO_Oº╮(\╱) Anitis, *you* of all people are having emotional issues??  
CC: (╲/)╭º0o0º╮(\╱) youre the one everyone goes to for advice, you can like see how everyones feeling!  
GG: D-> And looking into myself is not of the same degree, sadly.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºouoº╮(\╱) alright, what’s got my moisnail all stressed in?  
GG: D-> Out.  
GG: D-> And I’m developing feelings of a flushed nature for one of our acquaintances.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) tell me who!! i bet its somebody really pretty, like Psiren or maybe Dolphin,  
GG: D-> Elcari.  
CC: (╲/)╭ºOoOº╮(\╱) *CC gasps* !  
GG: D-> I  
GG: D-> I just can’t explain it without going all flowery. And I’ve had chances to say something and whenever I think about it for too long I just  
GG: D-> Fiddlesticks.  
GG: D-> Give me a moment.  
CC: (╲/)╭º9_9º╮(\╱) sweaty Anitis. silly sweaty Anitis.  
CC: (╲/)╭º^o^º╮(\╱) well i know you!!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱)and while you’re going to get a towel i can say what’s gotta be said and you can’t interrupt  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuouº╮(\╱) youre beating yourself up over this because youre afraid of what she might say to you in return, when you shouldnt be  
CC: (╲/)╭??o??╮(\╱)how can you not see her as clearly as you can see Karfin, or Dolphin?  
GG: D-> Something about her.  
GG: D-> She’s so aloof, mysterious and enigmatic. It’s almost as if she has a kind of barrier set up to keep me out.   
GG: D-> That only makes her more attractive, I *want* to learn about her, why I can’t see through her.  
GG: D-> Why am I not STRONG enough to say something or meet her gaze for very long or compliment her facepaint.  
GG: D-> Why am I not enough to woman up and  
GG: D-> Expletive statement.  
CC: (╲/)╭??o??╮(\╱) ?  
GG: D-> I meant to bring my hand down against the desk and I punched a hole in it.  
GG: D-> Oh my, I need to calm down.  
CC: ...*CC pulls GG’s attentions back to her moisnail*  
CC: ... Anitis, you need to calm down  
CC: ... because this is clearly bothering you a lot  
CC: ... and its never good to bottle up this bad especially in your case  
CC: ... i know youre upset about how to handle your flushcrush but never ever think that you arent woman enough to act on it  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) youre just not comfortable enough to act on it, and you are strong and awesome and just because youre afraid doesn’t mean you should be angry with yourself  
CC: (╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) my moisnail would never lose control over somefin as silly as this, she would calmly look at the situation  
CC: (╲/)╭º^u^º╮(\╱) *CC kisses GG’s forehead and hugs her tight*  
CC: (╲/)╭º^u^º╮(\╱) your feelings may be confusing but they are real and should be expressed and not bottled up like this  
CC: (╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) if i ever hear you lost control over this again i will pap you until you see diamonds  
CC: (╲/)╭º^u^º╮(\╱) like this  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱)*CC paps GG*  
GG: D-> Malaco I am alright  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) *CC paps GG again* shoosh  
GG: D-> Malaco  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) *CC paps GG again* shooosh  
GG: D-> Alright I’ll admit I am very much enjoying this.  
CC: (╲/)╭º^u^º╮(\╱) alright!  
CC: (╲/)╭ºowoº╮(\╱) Eelcari is super cool and relaxed, i understand how youre flushed for her  
CC: (╲/)╭ºuwuº╮(\╱) i also sea the way you look at all the girls, Eelcari does seem to put the biggest stars in your eyes  
CC: (╲/)╭º^w^º╮(\╱) if a time ever happens, you should try and bring it up! never stress or belittle yourself for not acting though  
GG: D-> Thank you so much Malaco, I really appreciate this.  
GG: D-> <>  
CC: <>


	3. Jams and paps pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malaco is on the receiving end this time. Pale porn.

CrustaceanCuddler [CC] began trolling GregariousGuider [GG]

CC: ... Anitis, I’m still really nervous about you coming over here  
CC: ... i know youre already on your way here  
CC: ... mom said she’s gonna have her own feelings jam too but I’m still  
CC: ... *CC sighs and pulls on his hair*  
CC: ... what if something goes wrong?  
CC: ... i mean not with me im practically perfect except for the  
CC: ... fuck  
CC: ... im either a stroke from crying or yelling my head off about this  
CC: ... i cant even focus enough to make my little lobsters  
CC: ... i guess its perfect for our first jam though  
CC: ... oh i hear mom squeeing really loud  
CC: ... nows the time

CrustaceanCuddler [CC] ceased trolling GregariousGuider [GG]

You hit the enter key, and another long cheer meets your ear fins. Yep, if you weren’t sure before you sure are now. In a kind of rush, you pull down on your hat and brush off your shirt. Wait, what are you doing? This is the first time you’re meeting Anitis in the flesh! You feel your anxiety and fear bubble away, a sense of joy and excitement rushing in the more you think about how you’re finally going to be able to hug your moisnail.

You grin, your confidence setting back in as your sock clad feet pound against the floor, and as you reach the mouth of the hallway leading to stairs, you can’t help but yell. You throw yourself halfway over the banister, and finally lay eyes on her. She taller than what you expected, and a bit wider, but she’s still perfect.

You hear her dad talk to her, although he’s pinned to the ground by your mom, something like “Feet apart, lean forward, stance low, get ready,” but you stop paying attention by the time you reach halfway. With a happy leap, your launch yourself at Anitis, landing in her open arms, and you just curl up against her. She smells soft, like cookies and the smallest hint of cleaner. She’s so warm compared to you and you chirp and nuzzle against her. Her strong arms wrap around you in return, and soon you’re speaking in subvocal without even realizing it. She’s real, tangible, and you couldn’t ask for anything more than just being this close. This level of comfort, the deep fast breaths only soaking your scent sponge in pale pheromones, oh god just having her in your arms and being in hers.

You don’t know how long it is, but soon the parents stand up, Mr. Equius practically towering over eight sweeps you, who hasn’t even reached their first real pupation as a fuchsiablood. He laughs, a deep rumbly laugh, but your mom speaks.

“Now that we’re done flooding the foyer, I suggest you two finding a nice pile.” You haven’t seen her this relaxed, elated almost in perigees. She’s latched onto Mr. Equius like a carrying bag, and they both have the most blissful expressions. Honestly, you’ve probably got the same one, so you just nod and nuzzle back into Anitis’ shoulder. 

“As happy as I’d be to stay in this moment forever, I think she’s right.”

Holy SHELL her voice is music to your sponge clots and you just purr into her. It takes another minute for her actual words to reach your pan, and at that point you just spill out directions to your respite block and she trundles along, you’re happy and practically a chittering wiggler in her arms. She opens your door, and quietly closes it behind herself, and you take that as your chance to scurry up from her grasp and you dive into the pile of blankets and pillows accumulated in the center of the room. You can get the pile and nice and ready for the upcoming jam, and you can feel a little bit of tension snake it’s way into the room. You two have never really had a feelings jam in person, but you’re sure everything is going to be okay. You look up at her, and she can see your confidence, but she falters a little.

You roll around a bit, and look back up at Anitis. She’s just standing there, and she’s biting her lip and almost shaking, and knowing her she gonna start sweating in a second. So you do the only logical thing you can think of, you pull your hat off—with minimal difficulty—and slide down the high collar of your shirt. Your gills flare up the littlest bit, and your fins are twitching and you’re suddenly hit with an undeniable pang of weakness, and it actually thrills you to your core. You’re showing her how weak you are, how needy of her protection and her soft arms to wrap around you and keep you safe. You look up at her, big eyes and soft edges, baring your weakness to her, showing your thinner neck and delicate fins, and you let out the tiniest chirp.

In an instant she’s in the pile beside you, arms holding you and it feels so right to fit in her arms. You sniff, and she’s calmed down a lot. She smells strong--typical of one of her blood color--but emitting pale pheromones that are practically putting you to sleep. You must be letting out the same ones. Your hands are on her upper chest, tracing her collar bone with gentle claw drags across the muscles. She tenses slightly, but relaxes. 

It’s a while before either of you are really ready to talk. But this time, you start the conversation.

“Hey Anitis,” you whisper. 

“Yes?” Her voice does that motherly thing you only hear once in a few perigees, and you smile. “I like your fins.” She murmurs, planting a gentle kiss on the top of your head. 

“How’d you know I was gonna ask about them?” 

“I know you, my moisnail.” Alright, hearing that come out of her mouth has got to be the funniest thing you’ve heard in sweeps, and you can’t help but let a few giggles bubble to the surface. She laughs too, and it’s like everything is perfect. 

“I just feel wrong Anitis. Like they’re supposed to be for someone more willing to be a prince someday. I don’t want anyone to see them, anyone to think of me as just my blood color.”

“Maybe I could help?” She asks. You nod, Anitis knows what she’s doing and ever since you took off your hat you’ve felt your fins twitching uncontrollably. Her arm draped across your shoulder raises up, and her calloused hand slides up your bicep, slow and deliberate as it makes it’s way up to just below your ear fin. She slowly traces the edge of each gill on your neck, and hot glubbing damn if that doesn’t actually make you feel better. Her clipped claws and gentle movements make you a nearly panting mess. You squint your eyes and nuzzle down into the blankets and pillows.

You are Malaco Leijon-Peixes, the little ball of high confidence and excitement. Your seadweller attributes are your biggest weakness, and here is your precious diamond, nuzzling her nose against your cheek convincing you you are perfect.

Well, after this, you think you’ll have one more weakness based on the way she’s practically moving spoor slime as she traces and rubs your earfins.

Her hands hands eventually stop and even though your eyes are closed, you know she’s staring at your fins. But for some reason, you’re not filled with the fear of being judged. You’re almost proud. You can feel the embarrassed flush drain from your cheeks though, and in an instant her hands cup and completely cover your fins. You mutter weakly, they’re covered all the time and all this activity, especially the gentle pressure of her hands holding them is driving you crazy but you get pulled out of your thoughts.

“Beautiful.” She says, pressing her forehead against yours. 

Her hands release your fins, and you open your eyes weakly. 

Your fins twitch and fan out from being compressed by her hands. “Beautiful.” She says again.

Your eyes open a little wider, and look at her. She’s calm, that same face of calm with her eyes gentle and warm. Suddenly you realize how close you are and close your eyes again. She’s just saying these wonderful fluffy little words and you’re lost, drowning in them. Eventually, you can’t handle it any more and try to pap Anitis in return for her over focus of you. She just grabs your arm and gently pins it down.

You know you could fight her, break away, but you don’t want to. 

You want to just be pampered like this, you want to just get lost in this feeling that you’re truly perfect. 

She shuffles, and she’s kneeling just to your side, and now her other hand presses gently against your neck. It’s faint, but you know exactly what’s she’s doing as you instinctually move against her. Anitis is setting in your submission reflex. Her hands squeeze your soft flesh, the hand on your neck reaching around to just barely reach the edges of your gills and the makes you chitter more. You’re feeling so tiny and so weak and you’re falling to thousands of pieces in her arms, but just as you do she’s sewing you back together stronger and better than ever before. 

Her voice is low and persuasive, and every little thing she whispers just slides right into your think pan. You can’t argue, and if you could form any words other than purring or subvocals you don’t think you would even want to. 

She speaks to you more and more, and you faintly feel her hand remove from your arm but you keep it pressed again the loose pillow. Anitis is telling you those sweet nothings, she’s building up your comfort, giving you that sweet forbidden and forgotten confidence in your seadweller traits you once had as a wiggler.

“My diamond, my most precious and tiny moirail,” Her words make their way into you sponge clots, “My beautiful and wonderful moirail. These beautiful wonderful fins, signs of strength, your adaptability, your worth.” Her breath ghosts over your fins and you purr so loud if you could think properly, you’d be embarrassed. “You are you, my wonderful Malaco, every freckle and fin and gill, they make you you and there’s no one I’d rather have to hold in my arms.” Anitis’ breath disappears, and finally you can feel yourself go absolutely limp. If she wasn’t whispering you name, you’d have no idea who you are or where you are. 

Eventually, her words die out and you can feel yourself go down with the pull of drowsiness. One last tiny phrase claws it’s way through you. “Pale for you.” You can’t even make any semblance of alternian in return before you’re out like a light.


	4. Jams and paps pt finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this is Anitis' physical jam like the last one was Malaco's

You sigh. Today is not the night to get into a strife. Your name is Anitis Crockr-Zahhak and you were due to return to your familial hive fifteen minutes ago and you're still holding the baking goods you and your mother needed before you left. Your moirail is due to visit very soon, and here you are being tailed by a group with less than pleasant intentions. It isn't until they're practically breathing down your cerebral column do you turn around and acknowledge them. 

One steps towards you and you sigh. The last thing you need is a waste of the boonbucks, you still have to pay back Delfin for helping you make your bow. You pull on the bags, keeping them close and closed. 

"What seems to be the problem?" You ask, glasses sliding down your nose ever so slightly. 

"You're that indigo, the one that bakes instead of fights." The presumed leader speaks. She's shorter than you, shoulder length hair and a cerulean symbol with too many x's on her chest. "My hive stem's been talking about you, apparently you never fight but you've still got the gall to walk around on your own. Like you own the whole damn place."

"And you seem to be more keen on using your midblooded rage fantasies to express lucrative blackrom projections onto trolls you've never met because you can't dish out for your kismesis." Your face is as cool as ever, and the words just spill from your mouth before you know what you're saying. She just reeks of it, the agitation, the defensiveness, the fake sense of pride everything that makes your statement true. You must hit the nail right on the head based on the way she snarls, and a few of his group laughs. "I don't want to fight you."

You've never been especially gifted with hand to hand, you learned some but fights were never something you actively sook out. 

Now the teal speaks, and he runs an arm over the cerulean. "Well, we do." 

Your eyes squint. "If you all let me be on my way I won't go into detail about your pale fantasies, because quite honestly that is filthy." You glance over his tired eyes, throat tinged a slightly lighter color than the rest of his skin, and your lips curl down. 

"What?!" He jumps back. 

"It's not that hard to tell," you reply and soon enough you're backing up on the path. With every instinctual observation you're digging your grave that much deeper. Your mother was the defensive troll, the one willing to fight in situations like this, but you're honestly more afraid of what you would do to them. You don't want to hurt them, they're all hormone addled trolls a few perigees younger than you and with your blood, you could accidentally kill them. You're strong, but your morals are stronger. Eventually you stop, and sigh. "If you could just let me be on my-" 

And suddenly your glasses are off and there's a dull spreading pain at your left temple. "Shut the hell up! Learn to watch your mouth!"

"And you should learn common decency, I have no fight to pick with you and this is pointless-" 

And now your lip. 

You exhale heavily through your nose. You've tried to be civil. This is pointless. With a brief nod, you lean down, pick up your glasses, and slide them on. Your left lens cracked in the fall, but you ignore it. 

"Have a pleasant evening." You snap, turning and stomping away. It doesn't take too long to realize they've given up, that cerulean got her stupid hate out of her system. Your anger and confusion and self hate stew until you reach your hive. The fabric bag slides up your arm so you can push open the hive door. Inside, you can see your mother leaning over one side of the cooking plane with Malaco leaning over the other, his back to you. They're looking at one of her cookbooks, and barely seem to notice as you take off your shoes by the door. Walking in, you can feel your hands tighten on the fabric carrying sack straps as you set them down. This rises the attention of your mother, blue eyes and soft hand prodding your bruises instantly. Your eyes move up from the floor, and she's looking at you on the verge of tears as she spills out question after question and you just shake your head. 

No, you're not hurt bad. No, you didn't do anything. No, you didn't fight back. 

She huffs sadly, almost as if she's the slightest bit disappointed. You shrug gently, looking up even more at finally meeting eyes with Malaco. 

He hasn't moved, you're not even sure he's still breathing based on the way he seems to be frozen in time. His eyes shake you to your very core, the big yellow oceans, rings of growing fuchsia and black centers. You smile weakly, making your temple yelp in pain that only succeeds in making you wince and your glasses drop one of the hairline shards of spun heated sand. 

Malaco is suddenly out of the chair, hands hovering gently around your arm as your mother directs you to take a seat up on the cooking plane ledge. You do, legs hanging down as your mother starts dabbing your bleeding lip with a towel. How long have you been bleeding? She gets it to stop, not before she kisses your nose and smiles warmly at you. You can't help but smile back, weak and broken as it may seem. 

With a little observation, your temple is just bruised pretty nastily, and your lip split, but nothing too bad. You thank her, and before you can even realize you're being drug away by your moirail. His hand is gripping yours tight, and you think you hear your mother say something about ake care of you, but things have just stopped making sense. You couldn't fight back, and that made you angry. But you didn't want to fight back, because you're weak for someone who is so strong. And that makes you sad. Which in turn makes you angry. Which makes you confused and frustrated and everything sort of blanks out for a little while until you you're standing in your respiteblock. Malaco has pulled forward your swivel chair, and he's sitting on it. he says three words, and just like that; you're pouring it out. What happened, how each part made you feel, and you're getting more and more angry. You're not even at the end and you're frustrated, a knot of confusion and anger sitting hard in your digestion sac. You yell, ripping off your glasses and holding them tight in your hand. You just feel- it doesn't make sense but it doesn't have too. When you do finish you're wound so tight you need to take it out on something, and then the malicious cloud of rage disappears. You come back down to Alternia, and you're breathing hard and a pain in your hands clicks into place. 

Your hands open slowly, fractured shards of spun glass sticking out of your thick skin. You destroyed your glasses, you crushed them in your hands, but more importantly you lost control. 

Oh wow, and now you're crying. 

Alternia to Anitis, what about Malaco? You can't even look up from your hands, pale indigo pools clouding the lower half of your vision as tiny hands appear from nowhere. They're gentle, soft and smooth as they pull the mangled blue metal frames away, before every piece of glass they can. There's a yell, but you can't focus on what's being said. You just feel the blood dripping and pooling from each cut, and you can hear Malaco sputtering and rumbling at you in his high and fluttery subvocals. He wraps your hands in bandage strips, and finally you can look up at him. He looks like he's about to burst into tears too, and you just sob. His fronds find your hair, rubbing and papping and shooshing and your arms go around his chest. You just cry for a while, disgusted and disappointed and loathing and you're only distracted when Malaco pulls you over from being hunched over him, to the pile in the corner of your respiteblock. 

You two return to the holding, your limbs a mess as you hold onto him for dear life and he holds you protectively. He starts talking real words though, and you're too tired to fight him. "You did good today Anitis, I'm so proud of you." He holds you, and his nose nestles against your hairline. "You did so good my diamond, you didn't lose control out there. You didn't hurt anyone Anitis, you stayed strong and you kept yourself safe and you let it all out. I'm so proud of you." You can only whimper in return, you don't feel worthy of pride, but he just keeps going. "You're not weak, Anitis, you're so strong, so strong. You didn't hurt anyone even though they hurt you. You let out your emotions. You're going to be okay. I'm here, you're here, everything is going to be okay." 

And as he talks, as he tells you that you did well and you're stronger than he would be in that situation, even the petty niggles at the back of your mind fade away. He's right, he must be. Every praise, every good job is sweet nectar of the soul. He knows you can't help but listen, you've fallen apart and somehow this little lobsterboy just manages to whisper exactly what you need to hear to put you right back together again. 

His speech slows down, but your eyes have closed a long time ago and his hands still hold yours, pressed against his chest. You feel his breaths deepen and slow, and you're not too far behind.


	5. Burn scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anitis likes giving people massages but she only trusts two to give them to her. Here's why.

CrustaceanCuddler [CC] began trolling GregariousGuider [GG]

CC:(╲/)╭ºnwnº╮(\╱) hey Anitis!  
GG: D-> Hello Malaco.  
GG: D-> What is the subject of tonight’s conversation?  
GG: D-> Given that there is one this time.  
CC:(╲/)╭º>o<º╮(\╱) whats that supposed mean Anitis!  
CC:(╲/)╭º>n<º╮(\╱) i just wanted to talk to you  
GG: D-> We talk on a regular basis though.  
GG: D-> As much as I love talking with you, I do have other things. My archery practice is in a few minutes, I need to get ready.  
CC:(╲/)╭º7n7º╮(\╱) oh yeah i always forget about that  
GG: D-> Please try to think things through next time.  
CC: ... i do think things through!  
CC: ... youre the one thats being all unnecessarily mean tonight!  
GG: D-> I’m not being mean Malaco.  
CC: ... yes you are!  
GG: D-> No I am not.  
CC: ... yes you are!  
GG: D-> I’m not indulging with these childish rants any more Malaco.  
CC: ... they’re not childish, youre just being a grump!  
CC: ... maybe if you would stop being such a serious sour puss you could unwind and get that stick out of your ass  
GG: D-> You know how I feel about cursing Malaco.  
CC: ... you know how i feel about YOU sidestepping the issues!  
GG: D-> Malaco, my practice is in a few minutes.  
CC: why dont you just say what you really mean?!  
CC: you dont have time to be a good moirail!!!  
GG: D-> …  
GG: D-> We need some space.  
CC: i think we do!  
CC: maybe i can feel better if i dont have to constantly be reminded of your stinky self  
GG: D-> Please stop this now, you’re letting your emotions get the better of you again.  
CC: no! I’m speaking my mind! and maybe, you just dont wanna hear it because its true!!  
GG: D-> You’re angry and upset because you have some kind of important responsibility in a few minutes, calm down and screw your head back on straight.  
CC: there you go again, just reading me!  
CC: what if i dont like you doing that?!  
CC: i can never express myself because YOU never let me!  
GG: D-> I’m doing my best to make things easier for you.  
CC: all youre doing is making this worse you smelly moron  
GG: D-> Malaco please

CrustaceanCuddler [CC] is now on do not disturb.

GG: D-> Malaco-  
GG: D-> I’m sorry.

GregariousGuider [GG] has ceased trolling CrustaceanCuddler [CC]

===>

Your name doesn’t matter and you press the button on your husktop harder than you should. It powers down, and you sling on your shoulder pack. He’s gone and done it again. But then again, so have you. You need to talk to other people, these fights are becoming too common for your personal enjoyment. So are Malaco’s comments, but he’s just getting overemotional again.

Or at least that’s what part of you says. Another part says that he’s right, and that you’re being a bad moirail.

But you can’t focus on that right now, you slam your respiteblock door shut and step towards your father. He’s gotten the evening off to help with your usual practice, which you should be grateful for but now you’re unsure.

“Anitis?” He asks, your angry eyes refusing to meet his cracked glasses.

“Yes father.” It comes out of your lips as more of a statement, and you sigh outwardly.

“Are you alright darling? If you would like I can give you extra time for a quick jam, you seem tense and-“

“I do not wish to talk with Malaco at the moment.” 

“Has something happened?”

“I do not wish to talk about that either.”

“Perhaps we can just focus on our practice then. Take your mind off of it.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and when you look up his glasses are off. He smiles that way that crinkles the corners of his eyes and it makes you smile too. Even if Malaco is making things a bit difficult, perhaps some practice can make you feel better.

It doesn’t work exactly, as you and your father stand at the shooting range outside your hive, with him on your left, your bow drawn, and an arrow in place. The breeze blows your hair in a way that blocks your vision and your palms are more sweaty than usual, and everything just seems to be wrong. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and reopen them. There’s a brief moment where your glasses glint in the moonlight and you release the arrow from your bowstring squinting at the glare and sending your arrow out with too much wobble. It sticks the target, low and in the ring second closest. It irritates you to no end, and the bow is tossed to the ground as you pull your long hair back in a ponytail. In a bloodpusher beat you’ve another arrow from your quiver, but still everything is wrong in the most minute of ways. The arrow strikes high, and you grit your teeth.

“This is getting to you Ani.” Your father speaks, and it’s nice to hear his highblood stoicism pushed away. 

”Malaco is making being his moirail difficult.”

“That is what moirails are meant to do. Test and push and fight but always come back together.”

You sigh. Yes, your father and miss Nepeta are some of the best and purest diamonds to exist on alternia, but not everyone could live up to what they had. Malaco knew how sensitive you were about your scent, and he still brought it up. You tried to calm him down by stating the facts and he just threw you out like your opinion and your feelings didn’t matter. For just a brief moment, you imagine perhaps a world without the little lobster. It hurts, and it aches your bloodpumper and your thinkpan, but you draw an arrow to dive deeper into your thoughts. Your father’s phrase echoes in your mind, always come back together. For just a moment, you see yourself, without the little highblood perched at your side or blowing up your trollian. Happier; without the constant and crushing reminder of how you smell or how you act in relation to him. You don’t even notice when you release a breath, and with it the arrow.

The arrow flies straight and true, landing in the center of the target.

What if you just aren’t meant to.

You call it a night after a few hours, sufficiently pleased with what you’ve done. After a cool shower and healthy appliance of deodorant for later, you brush the lengths of your dark hair, eyes scanning the open trollian window. No, no response. But that also almost lifts your spirits at the same time it crushes them. 

Out of desperation, your hand types away, and a new window pops up. Yellow text meets your vision spheres, and a few quick words are on the screen before you can even begin typing.

GregariousGuider [GG] began trolling  TA [TA]  


TA: hey aniitii2!  
TA: iit2 niice two hear from you ya big lug  
GG: D-> Hello Psiren.  
GG: D-> It’s nice to be talking to you again, any company is welcome at the moment and your name was the first to pop into my head.  
TA: aww! iim honored, ii really am, but what about Mal?  
TA: arent you two 2tiill holdiing tiight to that diiamond??  
GG: D-> At the moment, I’m rather unsure.  
TA: woah!! That2 2ome pretty 2eriiou2 2hiit Aniitiis  
GG: D-> He’s just being a wriggler about this whole thing.  
GG: D-> I originally thought we just needed some time apart, but his actions the past perigee or so have made me feel less valued and moreso a burden.  
TA: what2 the liitle fool been doiing now?  
GG: D-> I have expressed my,  
GG: D-> Discomfort  
GG: D-> For certain aspects of my person, and Malaco continues to use them as leverage in our discussions.  
GG: D-> I can’t tell if he means them harmlessly, or is really teasing and criticising me with malicious intent.  
GG: D-> The more he does it, the more insecure I become, and more I backlash at him.  
TA: wow the2e are defiiniitely 2ome diiamond problem2  
TA: have you told Mal about how much iit2 botheriing you?  
GG: D-> He ended our last conversation rather abruptly.  
GG: D-> I apologised, but I’m starting to think that maybe I’m not the one that should be apologising.  
GG: D-> In all honesty I’m questioning if this was ever a balanced moirallegiance in the first place.  
GG: D-> I can’t even remember the last time he successfully calmed me, or cheered me up.  
TA: calm down there 2ii2ter, the2e are 2ome biig word2 for a fiight between you and your moiiraiil  
GG: D-> You’re right, I should calm down.  
GG: D-> I apologize for blowing up your trollian like this.  
TA: dont worry about iit!  
TA: iif you need two talk, iim right here  
GG: D-> Thank you again Psiren, maybe I just need some time to reflect.  
TA: go for iit giirliie, ii have 2ome grubloaf wiith my name on iit but me22age me iif you need two talk  
GG: D-> Will do.

GregariousGuider [GG]  ceased trolling  TA [TA]

TA [TA] began trolling GregariousGuider [GG]  
GG: D-> ?  
TA: ii forgot two mentiion, before ii log off  
TA: iif you hear from Mal tell him that P2ii ii2 PII22ED  
GG: D-> I do not plan on conversing with him for a good long while.  
TA: yeah but P2ii 2howed up for 2ome kiind of calliing wiith a bunch of the empre22’ cabiinet troll2 or whatever and Mal baiiled  
TA: agaiin  
GG: D-> He never understands the importance of punctuality and dutifulness.  
GG: D-> I apologize for him, the little lobster won’t ever do it himself anyway.  
TA: ‘tii2  
TA: wow okay that2 2omethiing real damn close to hate iin that 2tatement  
GG: D-> It’s true though.  
GG: D-> Go eat. I’ll be wallowing in the ridiculous swamp of emotions for a good while.  
TA: me22age me later ‘tii2, iil try and get maybe Aquiila to check on Mal and relay what iive got  
GG: D-> I couldn’t care less anymore.  
TA: :/

TA [TA] ceased trolling GregariousGuider [GG]

===>

Your name is Malaco and it is the only thing that matters right now. Your hands are pulling on the strings of your light blue hat, and your fangs are digging into your lower lip. She doesn’t understand! You are Malaco, and it’s you who let your emotions get the better of you. Again. But it’s not your fault, Anitis is making it hard to be so close to her. It’s always so serious, this and that and ‘I don’t have the time’ and ‘not now.’ It’s infuriating!

With an angry snarl you shut the husktop hard, pushing it back on the desk so you can lay your head on the cold metal. 

Anitis is so punctual and serious all the time, and it’s not your fault you forget things easily, Anitis hasn’t been nearly as kind as she used to. She’s tying you down, no wonder you look so much older after only being in a moirallegiance with her for around two sweeps. You worry about her, stress upon stress and you’ve straight up stopped telling her about certain things because you know she’ll only reprimand you. 

It upsets you, but what makes you even more distraught is that she apologised. You can pretend you didn’t see, but you did. She was so serious and strict and now all of a sudden she’s apologising? What kind of game is she playing with your bloodpumper? One second she doesn’t have enough time to talk, and the next she’s messaging you after you’ve ended the conversation.

Anitis was right, as you check the time telling device hanging on your respiteblock wall. You’re due for a violet hearing in a short while, close to midnight. You grumble though, checking your palm husk before walking over and dropping it in recooperacoon. You’re not in the mood to talk, why not let the sopor do it for you? You look at the hat strings dangling down the side of your face, before ripping the offending article off. It’s so her, and right now it just made you sick. You couldn’t throw it in the coon though, it gets pelted into the back of your closet. It lands on a scruffy old jacket you don’t recognize, but it was huge. And without the hat, you still need to cover your fins, and the green thing was damn big enough to do the job.

With the collar popped up and ends tied up to not drag on the ground, you climb your happy little self out the window and down the tree nearby. You take off running, hair blowing in your face in all the wrong ways out eventually you scale the dividing wall and found yourself in a nearby hive stem. 

You wandered mostly, hands in the jacket pockets, head down. The less you thought about the easier it was to convince yourself nothing was wrong. But Anitis was making it so difficult to be her moirail, and if you hadn’t thrashed your palmhusk you probably would have tried to end your moirallegiance. But when you thought about it, you almost hurt even more. 

You wouldn’t be having these stupid aches in your chest, you could be free, you wouldn’t have someone breathing down your back about skipping meetings, less problems. Less smelly overprotective heart reading indigo.

Why does she do that? She just reads you like an open book, picking out things you don’t want to tell her. She’s got no damn privacy when it comes to stuff like that and-

Oh. You just knocked on a hive door. You blink a few times, looking around to see where your feet had lead you. You had missed your meeting far by now, and your mothers would probably be very cross with you, but none of that really matters as the door swings open. 

You got further than you thought, as Aquila sticks his head through the open archway.

“Oh!” His voice is gentle and sweet, and you realise why exactly your legs brought you so far away from your hive and deep into the forest. “It’s nice to see you Malaco, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I just had a pretty nasty fight with Anitis.” You say, running your hands through your hair. “Wanted some fresh air and suddenly I’m here.” You smile weakly, looking up at the mutant. It’s funny, the way he just pulls in pity like a magnet. The poor boy’s a baby from a threshecutioner and- well you’re not entirely sure what his other father does, he’s petrified of puppets but honestly they kinda creep you out too. Aquila should be some threatening hateful person, but he ushers you into his hive and guides you towards the nutritionblock twittering at you like a motherbird.

“What do you mean, a fight with Anitis?” He asks, readying the scalding leaf fluid pot and filling it with water.

“She’s just been unbearable lately Quilfish.” You’re sitting at the cooking plane, eyes wandering and tracing each large collection of items ranging from crab and bird plushies to what you believe is books, there’s probably a fabric pile and some collection of his scimitars somewhere too. It’s all organized though, you try and count the different areas and guess what each one is for when you hear Aquila nudge the conversation forward. 

“Do continue.” His back is to you, a real sign of trust but you just fold your arms and lay your head down on the cooking plane top. Aquila’s voice has a slight rumble to it, a roll like a dayturnal tweetbeast hooting, and you can’t help but reply.

“She keeps reading me, and it’s really messin’ up my flow. Buoy she just doesn’t ever give me personal space.” You hear the pun slip out of your lips, but you can’t catch it in time and that makes you sigh again.

“I thought you liked it when she did that? You wouldn’t have to actually talk and she could help you easily.” Aquila turns around now, leaning his elbows on the cooking plane, and his chin on his hands. 

“Yeah, I used to.” Your voice grates a little, and the spite that slithers out is painfully obvious.

“Have you talked to her about it? Who else would be able to help you aside from your moirail and the one who is best equipped to help?” You can hear his own pun roll out of his mouth, a long hoo that normally would make you smile. Now it just goes in one ear and out the other, and you grind your teeth. 

“I don’t wanna talk to her anymore.”

“Now Malaco, I hate to admit it but I think you’re being a tad irrational.” Aquila talks to you almost in that same condescending tone Anitis would use, and you snap.

“Well guess what, that’s just who I am!” You hands slam down on the cooking plane but Aquila doesn’t even flinch.

“Listen here young-”

“I’m a sweep older than you and we both know it.”

“Then why don’t you start acting it.” His voice isn’t rude, or even demanding. It’s stern, and final as he sets a cup down in front of you. It’s halfway filled with water, a tiny teabag in the shape of a fish submerged in it. 

Alright, you can’t help it. Your eyes go wide and you lean down to look closer at the tea bag. After a few seconds Aquila flaps his sweater sleeves at you and you back up, so he can fill the cup the remaining halfway. 

The little fishy floats up in the water and by now it’s made a nice smelling cup of black tea. You murmur your thanks and an apology and continue to watch the fish teabag bob and float as Aquila drops his own bag in his own cup.

“I knew you’d like it, it came up in a tea set order, so I have a few little fishy friends for making tea. One’s for Danny, but this one I was saving for you.” He smiles that nice little smile that just makes you turn back to your tea and your bring the cup into your hands. 

“Thank you Quilfish.” You mumble, taking a nice sip of the strong tea.

“Have you calmed down enough?” He asks, sipping his tea and smiling at you. 

“I still stand the same, but yeah I guess I’m calm.” You reply. “She’s mean and doesn’t respect my privacy and it ain’t fair.” You say, even though thinking about it and talking has really begun to change your mind. You wouldn’t admit it though.

“Hoo, you really do seem to have a nasty fight going on.” Aquila sighs. There’s suddenly a quick and light dayturnal tweetbeast hoot, and Aquila’s face twists. “Hoo would be messaging me at this time of night?” He excuses himself from the cooking plane and retrieves his palmhusk. A quiet ‘oh’ escapes his lips that you pretend not to notice. “Psiren trolled me. She wanted to know if I had seen you.” He speaks to you, asking what he should say. 

“You fished my body out of the river.” You reply, growling and laying your forehead on the cooking plane. Now that you’re starting to regret your actions, everyone starts acting.

“Malaco.”

“You found me hung by my own entrails.”

“Malaco!”

“If she’s asking for Anitis then I was never fucking here!!” You snap, jolting upright and pushing away. You’re on your way out the door before you even realise, and honestly it doesn’t click that Aquila is flinching and holding his oversized sweater too tightly. It does when your hand grabs the doorknob, and that’s it, you let go, tears streaking down your cheeks as you fling the door open and slam it closed behind you. 

===>

He did what? You knew he was stupid but seriously? Psiren confirms. Malaco was at Aquila’s, and he actually did slam the door and run into the woods. 

On one hand, Malaco never learned how to handle his emotions, he lets them out all the time whenever he feels like it. 

And on the other hand, he’s never really learned how self destructive and rampant his emotions can run. Because you’ve been there to keep him from doing anything stupid. You didn’t want to see him really get hurt by his emotions, and the feeling still wiggles in your chest.

It hurts you, the fact that all of this is going on because of your fight. But then again, you look within yourself and see all the times Malaco has hurt you. Really? All two times? You shake your head again. You’re angry with Malaco! You’re furious! You’re

remembering the first time he talked to you. He was pretending to be a rustblood. He made you smile, he made you honestly laugh. You’re remembering the time Malaco skinned his knee when he got so excited to see you, he tripped over his own legs trying to get to you. You’re seeing every little tilted smile and freckled coated grin that he gave you. 

You should be there for him. You’ve been selfish again. 

The levity of the situation hits when your chest rumbles, and your vision spheres glance off the time telling device above your husktop. The sun will be rising soon. Malaco ran off into the woods, away from his hive. If it took him close to an hour and a half to reach Aquila’s hive, and he ran away from his hive,

Your eyes are watering and you’ve grabbed one of your snuggleplanes and you’re stepping out of the door when your father’s voice echoes in your ears. 

“Anitis? What are you doing?” It’s filled with concern, and you freeze. 

You’re amazed you can babble out the words. “Malaco needs me.” His eyes go momentarily wide, and his hand slides into his pocket. It comes back out, holding something tight and suddenly he’s standing and withdrawing his archeradictator coat. He drapes it over your shoulders in one swift movement, and looks you in the eye. 

“Be home safe. Protect him. Come back to me.” He says, kissing your forehead. You nod, determination burning in your eyes. You pull the door open, taking off towards where you remember Aquila’s hive being. It’s a long trek, dangerous with the moonlight dropping, it’s suddenly harder to see, and your hair stands on end. The fear pits and knots in your stomach, and it isn’t helped when you have to stop for breath. Your legs and lungs burn, and your mind just screams Malaco, Malaco, Malaco.

The coat is thick and heavy, good at blocking the ever lightening aura of the lowering moon. You understand why your father gave it to you, even though there’s more than a few moments where it catches on brambles and shrubs as you run. 

 

You passed Aquila’s hive a little while ago, the bird boy was outside and yelling to you which way he thought Malaco ran. 

The sun is rising now though. The coat’s hood goes up, and you feel the hot rays of the early sun tingle on your face. You need to find him, to save him, to-

A bundle of olive green catches your attention, it looks like a jacket caught in a bush, with a tiny grey frame laying just beyond it in an open grotto area. It looks like Malaco was running and was either struck with his narcolepsy or fell out of the jacket after it snagged the plant. Neither matter to you, and before you can catch a breath you’re beside the boy, hands ripping off your coat to cover his body. It swamps Malaco, but you’re sure to make sure no light can get in when the blazing heat traces licks up your back. 

You pull the snuggle plane around yourself, as the sun rises nearly completely now. It hurts, the aching heat that radiates through the snuggle plane, but it doesn’t matter. You’ll be fine. If you die, Malaco will live. He’s royalty. He deserves to live. Your eyes unfocus as the sun creaks slowly into the sky, it’s full force beaming down. You go numb, quietly shaking. The snuggle plane blocks out the worst of the sun, but you still drop onto the forest floor, fighting for breath. You blackout before you can think any more. 

===>

When you’re running, nothing matters. Especially not how useless or heartless you feel. You scared the shit out of Aquila, the nicest troll you’d ever met. And you desperately try not to think about Anitis as your breath hitches uncomfortably in your throat. 

You were the one who was wrong. 

You did just let your feelings get in the way again. She was trying to remind you to actually use your thinkpan once in a while, and you snapped at her. You hurt her. You know she doesn’t like talking about her scent, and you still brought it up. You antagonized her. 

The skin on your arms and around your gills get cluckbeast skin, and you pause for a moment to look up. The moon is setting, the sun will rise in half an hour at the latest. 

You won’t make it home in time. 

You run through the trees, useless deciduous pieces of garbage that have half of them missing good protective leaf layers. 

You hurt your moirail, picked on her insecurities and belittled her and broke her diamond. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, when you gasp out a breath and your jacket unravels from it’s knot and catches a dying bush. You go stumbling forward though, and end up out of the damn thing laying on the forest floor. It’s hard to breathe and everything is spinning, and, and… you cry.

 

When you come to, it’s too dark for what time it feels like, and you feel the weight of some kind of jacket pressing you to the ground. There’s a few seconds of you getting your bearings, before a thud just to your side, accompanied by sounds you can’t rightly identify. You start to sit up, and light momentarily blinds you. It is morning. How long were you asleep? How are you alive? The jacket is very thick, a familiar smelling fabric trickling into your nose as sleep leaves your extremities. 

This is Mr. Equius’ jacket, you realize. You pull the hood onto your head and slowly move onto all fours, the light is hot, and the jacket could only come from one place. The sinking pit in your digestion sac only worsens when you’re right, a snuggleplane corner visible just to your side. You stand, leaning and hunched forward as you look, before grabbing Anitis’ arm through the fabric. Pulling and dragging your moirail--if she even is that at this point--closer to the tree line, you don’t realize how badly you’ve fucked up until you’re both out of the blazing sun, and you stand up straight to wake up Anitis. 

Her back is burnt, badly. The fabric it just barely holding on, it’s a lightweight snuggleplane made for piles, not for protection from the sun. You’re crying before you can even move. Her skin is almost bubbling, crisped and bright indigo at the surface, burns tracing up and down her back. She’s not moving. 

You know better than to touch her wound, you thank gog for finally some fucking good shade from some trees, and you just stare. You can’t do something wrong, you need to save her, not hurt her even more. The deep pink of the snuggleplane is darkened, as well as the grey of her shirt, making it look a sickening black while her skin radiates heat and burns occasionally ooze her blue. It creeps up almost to her hairline, and stops just above the line of her leggings and skirt. 

You hands frantically pat your shorts, your palmhusk is back in your recooperacoon. Gog damn it! You’ve outdone yourself on the stupid this time, Anitis needs help and you can’t do anything until the sun goes down. Your only saving grace is the sudden breeze, rustling the leaves and branches above your head. You’ll be alright until sunset at least. Or at least, you will. Anitis’ breathing is still weak, and while you’re worried to wake her up, you’re even more worried of not being able to wake her up. Her entire body is hot to the touch, and you find yourself staring at the burns even single free second when you’re not making sure she’s still breathing. 

You notice the bump in Anitis’ side later than you would have liked to. Carefully withdrawing it, her purple palmhusk is in your hand. It’s blown up with notifications from Aquila and Psiren, but as quick as your shaking hands will let you, you navigate to Marina’s contact and send her a hurried mess of garbled text half explaining half apologizing and begging for help. 

The text pops up blue, and your stomach retches again. This is Anitis’ color. You can’t even think about her blue right now. Marina replies almost immediately, calming waves and questions, where are you, what’s going on, what do you mean Anitis needs her help, and more. 

Your hands keep shaking as you type, and you follow what she tells you. You help stretch Anitis out, moving her arms and legs into a open position. You check her breathing every minute. You don’t put anything on her back, you keep away flies and leaves. 

Again, it takes too long for Marina to message you she’s on her way. Thank gog you know a daywalker, someone who can handle the sunlight. 

When she finally arrives, it’s late morning. She has her mother with her, the taller Jade blood brandishing a bag and walking swiftly towards you. You stand up, and jump just to make sure they see you. Their speed picks up, Marina running with her green bow threatening to blow away in the wind.

When the two Jades reach you, Miss Kanaya is by Anitis’ side and putting large pieces of gauze on her back. You eyes can’t help but watch, you still haven’t stopped crying and a dull pain is thudding through your thinkpan when Marina nods, getting instructions from her mother and pulling on your forearms. She’s talking to you and you don’t even realize until Miss Kanaya hefts Anitis up, briefly struggling with the indigo’s weight before draping a blackout snuggle plane over her. Marina pulls on your arms again, and you look at her.

“Malaco, we are here everything is going to be fine,” Her voice is calming and motherly, and you just nod shallowly. She pulls the hood up on the archeradictator coat, and drags you back towards where the two came from. You’re shuffled blindly, head down, arms shaking, you trip more than a few times, and you just blank out. 

When Marina lifts your head and then the hood, you’ve just managed to stop crying. She talks to you more, and you just nod through everything. Miss Rosali and Kanaya are barking orders and instructions at each other, and Anitis is laid on a table near the back of the main block.

Anitis still doesn’t talk, she’s quiet and her skin is all flushed blue. You’re pulled away by Marina, who pulls your head against her chest and murmurs reassurances into your hair. You don’t have your hat. The hat Anitis made you. 

You cry, even though you thought you were all out of tears. Your hands grab the fabric of Marina’s shirt, and just cry loud and unending. For some reason you can’t fall asleep, although your body is heavy as lead and Marina lays you down. You close your eyes but your mind continues running. 

 

You wait until Miss Rosali comes into the room, gently shaking your shoulder. You shoot up, and she leads you back to the table. Anitis is laying on her stomach, chest bound, and back covered in gauze. There’s a heavy scent of antiseptic and a dull blue to Anitis’ entire body. 

Nobody speaks. 

The house is deafened by the sudden door slamming open, loud and heavy footsteps followed by a hand taking your shoulder and jerking you around. Mister Equius has you by the collar of his jacket, glasses gone, and you can see the sweat and tears running rampant tracks down his face. Your heart drops, and you know that this is how you’ll die. You deserve it. He’s fuming, furious, angry and betrayed and his hands stay at the collar of the jacket. 

He keeps staring at you, Miss Kanaya and Miss Rosali standing just to the side in case he does try to punch you. He finally blinks and his head falls. “Say something, Say something already!” He starts quietly, before yelling. You jolt in surprise, and you can’t even speak. 

He turns the two of you, and pushes you back against one of the walls. 

“Equius,” Miss Kanaya speaks, as the blueblood growls in return. She takes a step, but not before he draws back to finally give you a well deserved punch. Your eyes shut, but the pain never comes. 

When you open your eyes, you just see her face. Anitis is hunched over you, hair draping down her shoulders and tired eyes meeting yours emptily. 

“Malaco,” She whispers, pained. 

You still can’t make words. 

“Are you alright?” She asks, just barely audible. You manage a nod, and her face breaks out into a gentle smile. 

“Anitis!” Mister Equius cries, running forward and turning the girl around. She chitters painfully as he does, and he pulls her into his arms as quick as he can. His giant arms wrap around her, careful of hurting her, but not stopping even when she whimpers. “Anitis, oh my gog, Anitis, Anitis, I caught the nearest shuttle, I ran as quick as I could-” Anitis’ chin hooks on his shoulder, and he lifts her off the floor. She goes practically boneless in his arms, and after he’s finished holding her, he lays her back down on the table. After a few more seconds, Mister Equius falls to his knees beside the table, his daughter’s hand in his. You sink onto the floor quickly following suit, slipping into a restless dreamless sleep. 

===>

When you come too you’re too hot, and there’s dull pains everywhere on your body. You can feel your long haired pulled into two low buns, and a thin but familiar smelling snuggleplane is draped over the bandages you feel covering your back. 

“Mom?” You whisper, eyes opening slowly as they adjust to the bright indoor light. 

“Hey sweetie,” She speaks, and you relax. 

“Is Malaco alright?” You don’t mean to have it come out, but it does anyway. 

“He’s fine Ani, worry about yourself.” She mumbles gently, brushing back your bangs and kissing your temple. “You really scared us sweetie,” You hear the almost sob in her voice, she’s still worried she might. “You father nearly crushed the shuttlebug’s handrail on the way. The thing’s built for highbloods.” Her small hand is tracing little infinity signs on the back of your neck, just above where the bandages start. 

“I’m sorry Mom.” You reply after a moment. 

“It’s alright Ani, it’s alright.” Her hand doesn’t stop, and you appreciate it. 

“Where’s dad?”

“Kanaya called Nepeta and Feferi to come pick up Malaco. Feferi gave the boy her own verbal beatdown before going off with Kanaya, while Nepeta went to town on your father. They’re both having a jam in one of the dark corners somewhere.” 

You close your eyes in a kind of nod. 

“You’re hurt very badly Anitis.” She whispers. “You were touch and go for a while.” 

“I hurt,” you say tactfully. “Is Malaco injured at all?” You ask about him again, pulling your arms up to try and push yourself up. 

“No Ani, not a scratch or a burn, lay back down.” She speaks, moving her hands to your shoulders and pinning you down. You don’t have the strength to disobey any more, and you sigh. You feel too hot, and try to wiggle the blanket off when your mother folds it down. “He refused to leave.” She finishes, but you close your eyes. Your glasses are gone, and looking without them hurts your eyes too much right now. 

“He needs to go home.” You reply weakly. 

“I don’t have to do a damn thing.” He babbles, you can hear the fear and soreness in his voice. 

“Language Malaco.” You say, barely louder than a whisper. Everything hurts. You’re tired. You want to go back to sleep. 

“Anitis, you’ve gotta stay awake.” Your mother coos.

“Go home.” You say to the fuchsia. 

“Fuck that.” He replies, stepping up and to the other side of you. “You’re hurt because of me.” 

“It’s my own fault.” You reply. You mother exhales heavily through her nose, and she gives you another kiss to your temple. There are quiet footsteps and then you’d be willing to bet you and Malaco are alone. 

“It’s not your fault Zahhak.” He says, sitting on the tabletop to your side. “I ran off. I hurt you, again and again a-and I played you. You still came to me.” Malaco finishes quietly. 

“You’re a prince.” You reply quietly. “You’re important.”

“So are you!” He yells quickly. “Anitis you’re too good for me! I-I made fun of your scent, and then I ran away from home, and then I ran away from Aquila, a-and I fell asleep in the woods, and-” His voice catches in his throat and he coughs briefly, “You still came to rescue. You protected me. You kept me from getting a single burn.” You can hear his gulp and pause for breath. “You saved my life.”

“Yeah.” You reply. “I’d rather die than see harm come to you.” You murmur. 

“Anitis, you’re more important than I am.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“I could go on all day.”

“It’s too hot,” You whimper, mind wandering restlessly. 

“Yeah, you sat in the sun.” He replies, although it’s followed by a pregnant pause. “I promise Anitis, you’re going to get better.” There’s another pause, and a cool hand hesitantly presses against the base of your neck. You chitter into it, and another hesitantly joins it. “I’m so sorry Anitis, I’m so sorry,” 

You open your mouth to protest when he continues talking. “You’re so strong Anitis, you’re strong and soft and so kind, Anitis I’m so pale for you please oh dear gog please just be okay, okay? You’re so important, you make me feel important, you make me feel happy and safe and loved.” 

Your brows quirk as Malaco tries gently massaging his hands on your neck. He’s unskilled, his hands are wobbly, far too gentle, but they’re enough to make your chest rumble. “Anitis I’m so pale for you, I’m so pale for you, please, please I’m so sorry,” You end up weakly purring, words aren’t working with you. They can fuck right off though. Oh. How, vulgar. 

You stop trying to understand what he’s saying, you just feel. You let Malaco talk, those sweet sweet words that breathe life into you and knit every fiber of your body back into place. You saved him. You would do it again. But not right now, you’re too tired. 

===>

It all sort of blurs together, Anitis wakes up and then suddenly you’re (badly) massaging her neck. She’s okay. Then she’s asleep again. You don’t want her to sleep, but she needs the rest. You wonder if she’ll ever be able to feel her back again. You try your best to push that thought from your mind. Your mother comes through the doorway after a while. She looks at you, you can see the sadness in her olive eyes. 

“Malaco,” She says quietly. “I’m very disappointed in what you did last night.” She walks over and takes a seat on the table next to you, she’s careful to keep her tail from tickling Anitis. 

You nod, pulling your hands back from your moirail’s shoulders to rest them on your lap. 

“And I can see that you already know that.” One of her larger green tinted hands rests on yours. “Please understand the consequences of what happened. You weren’t injured, but someone else was.” Her eyes glance briefly at Anitis. Yours follow. 

“I’m so sorry mom,” You murmur. 

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” 

You look up, confused for a brief moment until the two figures in the doorway appear. It’s Miss Jaynne and Mister Equius. They both look... sad. Mister Equius’ face is an odd mix, understanding and anger and fear and sadness, all wrapped in a giant present with a big bow of what could only be described as pride, but only when his eyes meet Anitis. 

“Mister and Misses Zahhak,” You say, standing up. “I am so sorry for what happened,” You throat hurts and you get a bit light headed as you stand up, you’re not used to running on this little energy and this much stress. “I endangered myself and in the process, seriously hurt Anitis. But please understand!” You pipe up at the last part. “I ran because I couldn’t understand how to handle how I felt. Because Anitis was being difficult with me, and I wanted to run away from what I had done.” 

You close your eyes and ball your fists in Mister Equius’ coat. 

“But I’m never going to leave Anitis’ side.” Your chest swells as you talk, and you can’t stop. “I am not abandoning her after everything I’ve put her through. I’m the reason she’s hurt, and I am never going to forgive myself. Please just let me fix this. Let me help her.” You open your eyes and Miss Jaynne has her hand outstretched to you. You look up at her, and can’t stop the extra tears bubbling out of your eyes. She’s smiling, soft and gentle and warm, and you see Anitis’ smile. You see the gentle kindness and comfort of Anitis and run into Miss Jaynne’s arms without a second thought. 

She laughs weakly and holds you, she hugs just like Anitis. 

A deep voice scoffs, and you hear your mother stand up from the table. 

“He’s just like you.” Mister Equius says, calmed by the blue tail wrapping around his ankle. 

“And she’s just like you.” Your mom speaks, and you let go of Miss Jaynne. “Proud of her?”

“A bit. More understanding than I should be.” You can hear Mister Equius smile, and when you turn to face him, he’s idly tracing a scar down the length of his jaw and neck. He looks at you, and then gently gestures to your mother, who’s turned to meet eyes with your other mother and Miss Kanaya as they come out of their pile room. Nepeta has a long thin line just to the right of her spine, that continues down past the line of her shirt. When you look back at Mister Equius, he nods shallowly and thumbs his chin again. 

There’s a lot of talking as everyone returns to the main room, and Anitis comes back to with a few whines and groans. 

Marina offers to keep the injured blueblood, but the entire Zahhak family adamantly but politely refuses. Anitis will be going home soon. As in, a few minutes. Everyone had their jams, Miss Rosali and Marina even helped write instructions and tips for taking care of Anitis which they give one copy to you and one to Miss Jaynne. 

When you’ve scanned the instructions faithfully, Anitis starts struggling to kneel on the cooking plane. You and Miss Jaynne help her up, and Anitis leans heavily on you. Her chin hooks between your horns once she stands completely, and you hold her hands in your own. “Are you doing alright Anitis?” You ask, papping her hands back and forth in yours. She makes a noncommital noise, and one of your hands move up to drag down the side of her face. She’s warm. Your hand is cold. She nuzzles against it, and you sigh. She really isn’t displaying of her affections, and she can’t even handle her filter right now. She’s that far out of it. “You’re going to be dotted on a lot you little grubling,” you speak, walking with Anitis still hunched over you. You get another noise, and you just chitter in reply. 

The two families board the shuttlebuggy your fuchsia mother called when you weren’t paying attention, and make your way to the Crockr-Zahhak household. Nepeta wants to stick around for Mister Equius, and you for Anitis. Honestly, you just can’t imagine the trouble your moirail would get into without you. Or at least that’s what you say to distract yourself. It’s going to be a long few perigees taking care of her, and there’s no time to wallow in self loathing. Anitis sighs as you all step back into her house, and she mumbles against your hair. You reply warily. “Yeah, I guess it is gonna be different around here for a while.”


End file.
